Baby steps

Tonight, I stopped at 2 beers.  Drove through the krystal parking lot deciding against krystals...and then again through the kfc parking lot deciding against hot wings.  Came home and ate a salad, no cheese and no bacon.  Fuck yeah.


It's week 4 and no change.  I haven't really been trying that hard, but still.  No damn way light beer has that much to do with it when I'm cutting my daily calories in half.......it's bullshit


friendly reminder

I was all set to post a positive note about how the best things so far about ww is that it has made me look at food in a whole new light and I find myself actually wanting to eat healthy. For example, I was craving a pressed turkey sandwich with goat cheese and fig perserves and fried green tomatoes from the Black Cow, but I can't help getting a little turned off by how much fat is probably in it. Anywho, I was gonna be all "yay for me, this is great" ... but then I checked my email.

A little activity can go a long way

You may be doing lots of things that count as activity PointsPlus® values. Did you clean your house this week? Take a low-intensity walk? That counts as activity on this plan, so you should track it! And when you ramp up your exercise routine, you'll see your earned activity PointsPlus® values go up, as well.

The last day you tracked activity was Tuesday, February 28. Get moving, and get tracking!

Do people really track "house cleaning"?! They obviously don't live in two-room cottages in their mother's backyard and get tired after only vacuuming and plop back down on the couch leaving the dishes for at least another week cause one person doesn't need a lot of dishes!! *takes deep, needed breath* And thank you for reminding me that I haven't gotten off my lazy, fat ass in 2 whole weeks. If you want somebody to "get to" something, why don't you get the fuck up off my back!

That was my initial reaction. It was really only the Get moving, and get tracking!
that really pissed me off. Or maybe it was just the exclamation point.

I know they are only trying to be supportive, even though it's only an automated email. Damn, they're makin' a killin'.

I am, however, proud of myself today. My newest low-carb, low-fat obsession is bunless vegan burgers with all the fixins. delish. cheap and easy to make, too.



So, after going over this last week's points, I'm pretty sure the 3 week checkpoint message will say, "bitch, you need to get it together."


Found a new way to save points.  Have bad day, have glasses of wine and xanax for dinner....too relaxed to eat.  And only 4 pts added to tracker. (Xanax are 0 pts, woot woot)


last night's bender left me with only 13 weekend points. they are really "weekly" points, but i shall call them going forward "weekend beer allowance"

since i'm headed to montgomery for hank3 tonight, i guess i'll just look at this first as a learning experience that you really gotta try hard and stick to it. better luck next week.
if you're having to close one eye to add points to your tracker at 4am drunk at the waffle house, you're probably defeating the purpose.
so they need an alcoholic version of the points plus and a diabetic version. and an alcoholic diabetic version.



I am going to resurrect this blog as my weight watchers blog. I need to talk about it, and nobody on facebook wants to read that shit. Monday around noon, I signed up for weight watchers online. By 1pm, the sadness began when I discoverd that my beer allowance was very small. Granted, I shouldn't drink more than 20 beers in a weekend, but ya never know. And I don't like limitations when it comes to my brewskis.

My points are 30 a day, with 47 weekly extra. I've decided to stick to my 30 a day and then I get a case of beer for the weekend. But see here it is thursday, just went through a breakup and wanna go have beers with my Sissy. Which I'm going to do, because I have no will power. I also had a bag of doritos, 2 tbsp of peanut butter, 3 oreos and a glass of milk for dinner. Which, with the points, isn't that bad...but then weight watchers isn't very carb conscious.

You'd think they would use some of that money they are paying Jennifer Hudson and spend on research developing a low carb point system for diabetics and insulinresistant folks. But until then, I'll have to do the carb counting myself.

I'm on day 4 and I think I'm doing decent. Went out and got a bathroom and kitchen scale. Last night, I sectioned out my chicken and cheese into portioned ziploc bags (2oz. of cheese, 4oz. of chicken) This makes it easier to grab them and go when I'm headed to work.

Hopefully, I can keep up the momentu.........oh shit, someone just walked into work selling girl scout cookies. well, fuck me. hope there's a point value for thin mints.

until next time...



I'm gonna try to get back into this blogging thing for the therapy. i'm not as crazy anymore so they are probably not going to be all that interesting......

today was one of those days that just sucked. every little thing that everyone said just pissed me the fuck off. then i get off work and i'm all undecided about how to spend the time before my shows come on. i drive all the way to the usa to get drive thru cigarettes, then decide to just go to the grocery store and get a few things, and i can get smokes there. i get in the grocery store and decide i'm gonna make spaghetti. then around aisle 5 i changed my mind to nachos. so i get the stuff to make both. then i really just want a damn totinos pizza, so i get some of those...you know for my 'fuck this, i'll never lose weight' pitty party days. then i check out and leave....without getting smokes. so i have to go back to the usa. i get home and make nachos. they sucked. turns out i didn't want nachos. and now i have a mess to clean up. i should've just downed that bottle of wine and smoked half a pack of cigarettes. i'd feel better right now.....with way less calories consumed.

so i'm hoping this is just pms, which i didn't suffer from when i was younger....and this just reminds me that i'm getting old and falling apart at a molecular level and it fucking sucks. i would love to say tomorrow would be a better day, but i have to work....so i won't get a better tomorrow till friday evening. FUCK BEING GROWN AND RESPONSIBLE. word of advice, kids, live fast and die young because it only gets worse with age.


starting my new online class today Forensic Psychology. kinda excited about it....

another reason i'm not the biggest fan of procreation



tonight i went out and got drunk. for the first time in a long time. well, atleast for the first time since they told me i was sick. i'm sorry doc, i tried. exercise just ain't gonna make it into my schedule. end of discussion.

so anyway, i've bascially been held up for months...now i've tried to go out but, if you can believe this, after a few beers, i was just ready to go home.....

so tonight i go out. 2 years and plenty of recent activity should have put the thought of him behind me....but i get drunk and what do i start blubbering about?... him. why doesn't he like me and what does he see in her and all that bullshit.

cause that's what it is ...bullshit. i am a strong, intelligent, educated, stone cold woman and yet, the thoughts of him and the fact he doesn't want me get to me. I"m having a little trouble typing now, but that's just the vodka talking.

it's really pathetic. for me to be so hell bent on someone from this town....someone who hasn't used more than 4 syllables on a word in his life......

but it doesn't matter. because no matter what, i will always think about him and what i couldn't measure up to. And it doesn't matter how many times I'm reminded of all things him, whether it be his lack of class or social graces or education. i will think of how i wasn't good enough. and how i will always want him ......simply because i can't have him.

so there is obviously no point in drinking if it's just gonna bring all this bullshit up every time......because i honestly don't think my heart can take it.


This is my choice for:
Favorite TV Comedy
The Big Bang Theory


Cleveland Serial Killer

So, is it just me that is like, wtf? These cops paid visits to the house and never noticed the smell of a rotting corpse that has obviously been so bad in the recent past that a near-by factory made repairs to it's building? seriously? fucking seriously?


online dating day 3..or 4

i have deleted my profile and aborted mission because it's exhausting and I'm lazy.

conclusion: i must not be that bad after all, relatively speaking. and anyone who has the time and energy for that crap needs a job and/or a hobby. and some friends wouldn't hurt, either.


eharmony sucks balls

so the folks at eHarmony are makin' a killin'......but not from me.

and singles net is weird
oh my god, i found your son



last post for online dating experiment day 1

also just received one saying "I can relate" although very nice, my initial response is "i'm sure you can"

but I'm not doing this to bash online dating. i mean who knows? my misanthrope in shining armor may be out there somewhere bashing the hopelessness of online dating and life in general with me.

i'm already tired of the mail and I've only received 2 from 1 site. this shit is exhausting. how do people do it?
wow, within minutes, i get a message ...here is my reply

From: _nikkib_ (View Profile)
Subject: RE:we should have a beer
Sent Date: 10/30/2009 12:54:18 PM

seriously dude? i don't even have a pic uploaded yet. i could hideously grotesque with two heads....and you wouldn't even know. you'd pick me up and here come my two heads boppin' along. that , i assume, would be a major let down.

From: xxxxxxxxx
Subject: we should have a beer
Sent Date: 10/30/2009 12:39:52 PM

and go for a ride.

online dating day 1

so I posted my first profile on plentyoffish.com (that name cracks me the fuck up). A friend recommended the site. It needs some work. I could do a better job using Frontpage. I haven't uploaded a pic yet, but I'm gonna find a good of me with a crazy face in a bar. it'll be great.

my profile can be viewed here

part of the profile is a "chemistry predictor" test which I answered honestly. It's a little off, but here were my results:


online dating/social experiment

I have decided to conduct a social experiment. I am going to create online profiles for various dating sites. In these profiles, I am going to be brutally honest about myself. I will keep you posted on the results. I will also provide links to the profiles once I have them...which will probably be over the weekend, because I think it's best to plastered when I create them ;) (that's not a wink, that's one eye closed cause i'm drunk....get it?)

until next time......


oh what to watch on a tuesday night..."so you think you can dance" or "the biggest loser"? well, let's depression from not being able to move or depression from not having the money or opportunity to pay someone to make you move? hmmmmmm........ i think I'll just go to the bar and drink. until next time.......
so the Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty has a ways to go. Their latest commercial about eyes sittin' wide shows women like this: skinny, skinny, skinny, older(doesn't matter), skinny, skinny, smaller, skinny, curvy black (which is socially acceptable). So where are the overweight white chicks? huh?! HUH, DOVE!

yeah, that's what i thought. god forbid we go against the last acceptable form of prejudice .

although, i am all for the one about the pressure young girls because public school will break you if you are not properly medicated


random gmail of the day

i get some crazy shit in my gmail box due to gmail's rules about email addresses. today i got this. i thought it was pretty neat-o:

this was in there too:

i also got 2 other things, but one had a pretty scary disclaimer and i'm tired of uploading images to blogger, cause it really is a pain in the ass.

below is my reply to this email today, the way i see it is if it was so important and top secret, they would've gotten the email correct:

I totally agree that this "Nicole" should be doing more with her career than shakin' ass. Like the Harlem script, would probably get bored with the show by episode 3....but who knows. It's obscene how much money they spend on movies when my gas tank is empty and I'm rollin' nickles for a pack of smokes. Best of luck to you and your firm and all it's endeavors. Please double-check the email. This is Nikki in Alabama, not Nicole in Probably-somewhere-much-more-
- Hide quoted text -

On Mon, Aug 10, 2009 at 8:13 AM, **** ****** <*************@yahoo.com> wrote:

please review sent materials, attached. I think its time for your career to launch as an actress, and not, a video girl just moving her ass around. hopefully your head is capable of making major moves such as the materials attached, above. if interested? I'll provide $1 Million Dollars to properly manage opportunities offered. also, I'll provide credible agents and corporate management stemming from *** Agency, ********* Agency, *********** Agency, ********* Agency, and or, ********* agency. Factoring, we create a Business & Marketing Plan to helping negotiate better terms for your future, and, current direction. also, I've major sponsors and endorsement ready to back you. But, only when we've attach you to our financed screenplays, and or, television shows. please note, that, this offer is very REAL. I will introduce you to the producers and my investment teams. all authentic financing papers will be introduced at its proper timing. first, we must know if your available? and interested? if your wondering why I'm offering this to you? I'm following my instincts. you seem smarter than just a 'pretty women' with SHAPE. if not. oh well. wrong is not that bad, at times. hope this opportunity suffice. any questions? call me @, ***.***.****. My name is ***** ********. hope to hear from you, or, Team *****. thanks.


***** ********
**** ******, LLC.



ahhhh, the reliable roommate. it's a luxury. oh, to live in a nice, new apartment that's clean, as well as it's neighbors.....but i can't.

roommate wanted: male, must have job, car, moderate intelligence, manners, and doesn't bring home too many random whores. must love cats, beer and primetime television(or at least be gone or quiet during these hours).

must be able to swing $500 a month so we can live in a fat-ass luxury apartment....that i fuckin' deserve after all the moving i've done and will continue to do because my credit's so bad, i'll never be homeowner.


a few months ago it was all about a stripper, now all the top 40 "rap" songs are about gold diggin' hoes. what is the fuckin' deal? if they are going to continue to glorify this unacceptable lifestyle, my taxes are never gonna go down, are they?

excuse me if a sound a little deep south redneck, but after a day at Post Ridge pool, you can't really expect anything less....

and seriously, what happened to rap? and i'm not talkin like "the really old school shit was the best" crap. i like eightball, triple 6, dayton family ('member that?)...that dirty south gangsta shit. i know there's some good shit out there that i haven't heard about because i live in po-dunk phenix where all the white-suburbanite-thug-wannabee's still think it's cool to pop their collar and live with their momma. so please, send some artists and/or albums to download. i mean, does nobody scratch on their tracks anymore? wtf?


i think i may be a closet hopeless romantic and it is thoroughly depressing.


i love the view from my balcony. i was waitin' for a gigantic space ship to emerge from this cloud......or a swarm of locusts

mind you, the time elapsed between the lightest pic from the the most ominous was 1 minute TOPS (maybe a minute and a half...i'm not good with time, all i'm sayin' it happened quick)







i love the palm pre commercial. i wonder how they auditioned for that thing. is synchronized 'moving' a profession? do they have classes for it like swimmers and dancers? how long did it take to choreograph all them folks? did they do it in sections, all at once.... how quickly did they weed out the ones who actually had no rhythm?

or is it computer simulated? that would be a disappointment.
ya know, the sun on the Raisin Bran Crunch box isn't holding "two scoops of raisins". only one of his scoops holds raisins. is this the way it's suppose to be or have times realy gotten that hard?

cause they advertise two scoops

these drug commercials trip me out. the Lyrica one is the best "Some side effects include....suicidal thoughts or actions..."

well there's one cure for chronic pain. suicide will nip it in the bud everytime.


my mom says i was singin' his songs before i could even enunciate the words correctly. i actually cried when i got home from work. i will never forget where i was when i heard the news (in disbelief). i hope he is with elvis in peace. i, with the rest of the world, will never forget. we love you ,michael.

2 thoughts

why would you want to eat at olive garden? according to their commercials, everyone who eats there is a douchebag.

if i had house...and disposable income......i'd throw a micheal jackson party. nothing but his shit and remixes of his shit playin' and everyone must come dressed up as something related to him. i would go as one of the zombies from Thriller. cause i love thriller. and dirty diana.


why do i pay taxes?

awesome! now sack-chasers and their baby's mommas can stay in touch for FREE! no more of those expensive, disposable cell phones. you'll actually get to keep the same number for longer than a week.

you've got to be fucking kidding me. as if i wasn't already pissed off enough at how many folks eat good for free on food stamps, while i'm strugglin to keep crackers in the cupboard for my discount brand of peanut butter (never skimp on beer or TP, though)

but ballahs beware. have someone double-check the fine print. i know if i was gonna give out a bunch of ceellphones and free air-time, i'd atleast have some type of scanner to tap in and entertain myself with only the juiciest of conversations. oh, nevermind, this is a democracy. they should recruit Bush to run this little project.

where's my fuckin' bailout. my phone bill is 80 bucks a month! they even get roll-over minutes! oh, cingular should be PISSED!

wonder if they get free ringtones and cool little accessories?

oh yeah, you're wondering what i'm talking about...? heard this on a commercial on foxy today. wonder how much was spent on that morning show advertising slot?


when i'm a little more sober, i'll enlighten you with why me and my girls can't go in public...atleast not to new places


i guess it's the same as the black and anti-bush vote was with the election...never underestimate the teeny-bopper vote. god bless family cellular plans.
the toms shoes guy is hott, but i'm sure he's fuckin some skinny bitch with no tits who looks like a 12-year-old boy when you're hittin' it from behind. why is that so hott to some guys? oh yeah, that's right...nevermind

american idol

here's a poll i'd like to see:

" How many/ which american idol's will we see on Celebrity Rehab?"


re: there are many types of people......

3. folks that put special characters in there display name on social networking sites.

4. stubborn, narcissistic old people that are more unwavering in their beliefs than schizophrenics and southern baptists. where you'd find more common ground with a lamp post.....that doesn't work...the city just kept it around for aesthetic purposes
you know the economy is bad when Waffle House has to advertise on
the radio. that's all i'm sayin'. what the fuck is really goin' on ?


smell is the sense closest tied to memory

i love the smell of new wood

there are many types of people in this world...

....here are some that i don't like:

1.a the kind that use glitter graphics on social networking sites

1.b and the ones who have any app where one would "rate' their cuteness

2. women who are too old trying to be too young.

more later as i think of them (or am presented with an example, really.)



those who know me know how passionate i am about my prime-time television. well, i learn tonight (via advertisment no less) that one of my....no wait....my FAVORITE NEW show will have it' s series finale next week. i'm so distraught, i don't know what to do with myself.

i would drink more to numb the pain, but i don't think that's possible. i'd run outta money first anyhow